| I never realized how lucky I was to know what I was doing on Christmas Day. My father's an idiot.
Let's just start off with that, shall we?
He's still with that woman that, according to him, I am "openly hostile" towards,
when in reality, I havent spoken to her more than twice in like 7 or 8 months; the the two times I spoke to her, she was invading my time with my family, one of those times was in my own home. But I was polite, she said hello, I said it back, that was the end of it. But no, apparently my dad thinks I'm hostile towards her. I've held myself back, I havent said anything. It's the only thing I know to do, my father's screwed this up so much, what choice do I have? I called him the other night because I needed to know what we were doing for Christmas and he tells me that my grandfather is dying and has one to four years to live. I've found myself recalling memories with him and it just makes me so sad. I've never been THAT close with that side of the family, but I loved them all very much. And it was only because of the fact that they lived across Nashville while I lived in Murfreesboro, I didnt have the convenience everyone else seemed to have. I knew my grandfather wasnt doing good, but I must have been in denial, convinced that he'd get better, because whenever I saw him, he always seemed to be on the healing path. So anyway, back to the conversation I had with my dad. He asked me if I enjoyed making everyone suffer. What kind of person could he honestly think I am, to enjoy something like that? This has been bothering me a lot, whether he wants to think so or not. But no, he went on to talk about how I was disrupting his life. By that point, I was so mad, my eyes were watering and I couldnt think as straight as I should have been thinking at the moment, since I was driving one handed on back roads in very foggy weather. So through a shaky voice, I told him I shouldnt be talking on the phone, that the road I was on was very difficult, and then I hung up. I still have no idea what I'm doing for Christmas. |
